Quote from Bertie Wooster’s Aunt Dahlia: “The modern young man is a congenital idiot who needs a nurse to lead him by the hand and a strong attendant to kick him regularly”.
With regard to the regular kicking she was referring to Bertie’s inability to make any sensible decisions.
And I couldn’t agree more with Aunt Dahlia and young men, particularly with regards to myself. To be perfectly honest, the most sensible decision I ever made was to admit to myself I was too stupid to make any decisions and bail out of life in general.
And so winter now looms large. And I hope you all passed through All Hallows Evening unscathed? This is a time when the veil between worlds is at its thinnest. I hope you didn’t engage with anything wanting to cross between? Seriously, they are very cunning.
Remember, you must not talk to them.
Brrr, that made me shiver. Anyway I have said in previous blogs that I quite like the beautiful colours of the trees in Autumn. In fact, I enjoy Autumn right up until Christmas. After that I want to go and hide for three months cos I hate Winter and all the rain that brings.
As an aside, I’m always pleased to see there are still people around with a sense of humour. If you look on Linkedin you will see that those who like a laugh have taken up famous fictional names such as Dirk Pitt and Lord Snooty etc. One of my favourites is Hugo Drax from “Moonraker”. I couldn’t resist leaving the following recommendation for him:
"Provided design and installation of electrical services for Phases 1 and 2 of Sir Hugo's secret base in the Brazilian rain forest. Sir Hugo always paid on time, and with bonuses in gold bullion. A thoroughly decent chap. Also put me on to the repair of a wrecked cable-car station in Rio."
Look him up yourself. He’s really an ok guy, just a little misunderstood.
You might just even like to look me up on LinkedIn…
But don’t you just love working in secret bases for evil villains with ambitions to achieve global domination?
Imagine been interviewed by “World Domination” HR:
“So Mr Barrett, why do you think you would be a good fit for World Domination Inc?”
“You do realise I’m just a subbie right?”
Through gritted teeth HR peanut replies:
“Nonetheless Ed, may I call you Ed? We need to go through this interview to provide security clearance”
“Oh Ok, Carry on then”.
“OK Ed, How many other secret bases have you done work for?”
“ If they’re secret, None”
What else would you say to an HR prune?
Anyway, where has Ted B been in October (obviously excluding secret bases)?
Nothing overly exciting, after slacking off in September it was back out on patrol amongst the following:
Camberley – Vehicle component manufacturer.
Winchester – Satellite Ground Station.
Pontypool – Steelworks.
Bristol – Boiler manufacturer.
Norwich – International Electronics company
Went to the Electrical Exhibition (Elex 2026) at Warwick with my old chum Professor Griffiths.
Had an Indian in Oxford with mi viejo amigo Chris Jones, where we sat on swings eating dinner! Look up Mowglis) in Oxford.
Talking of slacking off, I’ve got a cruise coming up in 2027 that I’m very much looking forward to, so I had better get my DJ and dickie ready for the occasional gala evening.
A chap does have a need for that sort of gear for official dinners etc on the mainland occasionally anyway. Its not my favourite thing but when duty calls etc. Or as Audrey Forbes-Hamilton would have said “Noblesse Oblige” Edward.
I’ve often wondered though if I should get a white dinner Jacket and a red dickie for cruising so I might look like Humphrey Bogart in “Casablanca”?
Somehow I don’t think so. But I hope it made you smile.
Talking of smooth, if you’ve had a tough week, order a Chinese, kick off your shoes, pour yourself a glass of red (I prefer a Shiraz/Cabernet Sauvignon mix) and listen to this:
Ronld Isley/Burt Bacharach---The look of love
Liquid gold.
One of my Granddaughters, “Miss Firenza” had a Birthday this month. She is a beautiful, clever girl I am extremely proud of.
I am exceedingly proud of all my children and grandchildren and love them all to bits.
In previous blogs I have made reference to the learner types we have to deal with. You may recall the “Dead Fish” and the “Sociopath” types just to mention a couple. And I did state my view that “smart people are usually the good-humoured ones”. Which I still stand by.
I like the ones that are clever enough to understand most concepts easily but are not conceited about it.
With regard to this, Richard Fenyman is one of my heroes, he was an American theoretical physicist who was working right at the very edge of science and technology. But at the same time he kept his feet on the ground and was a big fan of KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid).
His philosophy was simple “If you can not explain a complex idea in plain simple language then you do not understand it” and I completely agree, cos that’s what it comes down to.
He was able to deal with ground-breaking scientific principles while all the time having a devilish twinkle in his eye and ready for a laugh. That’s my kind of guy.
You know I occasionally talk about my alter-ego. He is perhaps the version of me I would like to be. We all have an alter-ego in some way or other. Now my alter-ego is handsome, debonair and daring (my opposite). He is an adventurer, he will take risks, he will be the guy hacking through the jungles of Sierra Nevada to find the lost city of Eldorado.
If you fancy a bit of the Indiana Jones lifestyle yourself, there’s still plenty of opportunity to discover the odd tomb filled with booty. Lets start with just a few of the most powerful people in history. I’m going to list three:
Their tombs must be bursting with more treasure than your wildest dreams right?
So what are you waiting for?
None have been discovered!
They must have been very well hidden. How do you keep it secret? Nazis were doing this sort of thing during WW2 – you kill everybody that worked on the project and only one or two trusted lieutenants know the location. These are sworn to secrecy and remember we are dealing with fanatics who will follow orders to the end.
So get yourself an Indiana Jones hat and whip and get digging. I suggest somewhere around Alexandria in Egypt for Cleopatra.
You’ll need to get permission to dig from the Egyptian Minister for Antiquities who is currently Sherif Fathi. It used to be Zahi Hawass who was a good old boy I had the privilege of meeting a few years back but was ousted following the “Arab Spring”.
So good luck with that.
And that brings me to the end of this month’s rip-snorting report and glimpse of my nutty world.
All that remains is to finish up with the Cowboy Quote for this month:
“Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway!”.